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Some things just never get easier

I have logged back in to write today as we come to the end of lockdown 3.0. I just saw in my unpublished posts my thoughts about lockdown 1.0. Hmmm. I might publish that one day!  Today's topic feels like something I have written about before. Over the past few weeks, Ryley has been undergoing assessments. These assessments are necessary in order for us to receive adequate funding under the NDIS.  Long story short, Ryley's last NDIS plan has failed to provide the funding he needs in order to participate fully in the things we had planned for his transition out of school.  The whole process has felt a bit messy.  It started with me not being listened to. This is despite my strong, knowledgeable-of-systems-and guidelines voice. No blaming or shaming here. It just is as it is.  However, for those that know me well, know that when you try and 'quieten' my voice, I will only speak louder. Especially when it comes to advocating and speaking for those that can't.  As expec
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The Dream

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I know many of you already know what 'The Dream' is, and over the next couple of weeks, we can finally spill (most of) the beans. A quick recap for those who have forgotten: The Dream is basically an idea that has evolved over time as a solution to when Ryley finishes school. My worry has always been that as soon as he turns 18 years old he will have nothing to do. Sure, we have 2 options here. One is a day program type environment. The other is like a sheltered workshop type environment. Neither of which I feel will necessarily suit Ryley. Of course things may change in 8 years time. But for us, we really felt we needed to create a future for Ryley, instead of just waiting to see what he might be able to do. I actually have very little faith in the system at the moment too. I have been discouraged recently at the way I have seen supposed carers treat the people they are caring for (eg. Not changing someone's nappy for the whole day is just not friggin' on
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Defeated...for now

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At the moment, I am just surviving. I should have known it was only a matter of time before I fell over again and needed some help to get back up. Stress. Anxiety. Exhaustion. They seem to come hand in hand don't they? And I should have really just taken a moment when I felt the stress building up. I should have just said 'hey, I need a day or two to myself'. But I didn't. And here I am. I am ok by the way. Just in between sick kids, a sick me, work, a zillion extra appointments to somehow squeeze into my already full days...well...it all just became a bit much. Cue: Me in tears sitting in my Managers office. Thank goodness I have a supportive and wonderful workplace. She saw I needed time out and told me to take it. The worst bit of it all is the stupid anxiety that came back. For those that suffer from anxiety (whether it be a sometimes thing like me, or an ongoing disorder), it truly sucks the life out of you. My body just completely went into adre
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