Showing posts from May, 2013

Love Who You Love

I have always loved this song and it has even more meaning now.

Missing you Jacob. Every single day, with every inch of my being.
In my thoughts, in my mind, you are still here.


LOVE who you love.

And SAY that you do.

May your soul return to Knowing That Love is all you need. Send fear away and choose to be One with God, for then, you will see. Your shining light, And Our Love. May your spirit live on in peace. Please just Believe.
Missing you every day. Your biggest sister Anna, your brother in law David And Uncle Jaypeg’s nephews, Ryley and Braeden. Never far from our thoughts, always in our hearts.


This is a photo taken of a photo, so forgive the poor quality. But it is the last ever photo taken of me and my siblings. Who knew it would be the last?

Today I just feel empty inside. I feel nothing.
I am trying to fill my heart with love so that I can keep going, but it is hard.
For the first time, I don't feel Jacob around me.

I keep seeing the photos that my Mum puts up on Facebook and I just want to silently scream,
"Jacob come back".
There is comfort in knowing where he is right now (well, sort of), but the day to day reality is difficult to get through.

I forced myself today to take Braeden to school.
To go out in public and be near people.
I think that is the hardest thing for me.
I want to just sit in silence on my own.
I have never wanted to be more on my own than now.
But that isn't healthy I guess.

Today I will put one foot in front of the other.
I will breathe.
I will appreciate and be grateful for the time I got to spend with Jacob.

He wrote to me earl…

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

I don't even know how to write this blog post.
I guess I should start by thanking everyone for the messages of support my family and I have received in the past few weeks.
For those not on Facebook who might not have seen my post on Friday, it read like this:

My brother Jacob entered eternal life yesterday and is back home with God. He is now at peace. Thank you to everyone for your prayers, messages and support through this very difficult time. I carry your heart (I carry you in my heart). Things will be never be the same.

Jacob, my brother, passed away after a short illness on Thursday 9th of May 2013.
He was 31 years old.

Even as I write that I still don't believe it.
How can he be gone?
I only spoke with him on the phone the day after he went into hospital and as usual, he wondered why I was ringing him when he was only going to be in hospital briefly. In fact, he told me, he was planning to go home and then just come back in on Monday to have the tests done.
I will always…

The power of prayer

My brother Jacob is right now in an Intensive Care Unit in Latvia fighting for his life. Without details, for now, he is in a critical condition.
This is his journey and I believe he will come through this.
But please, if you believe in the power of pray, I ask that you pray for him right now.
If you believe in positive thoughts, I ask that you send them.
If you believe in the healing light and energy, I ask that you send it.

And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is Love.