Saturday, February 12, 2011

Trust

Such a big thing isn't it?
Trust.

Today as I ran around the Lake (yes, thinking AGAIN, can you believe it?), and as I passed by one of the restaurants I saw two adults with disabilities in wheelchairs with two carers. Whether the carers were family members or not I don't know. I don't think they were, but won't make assumptions.

I stopped dead in my tracks to be honest. I had to take deep breaths and compose myself.
I just felt so overwhelmingly choked up and overcome with...well worry, sadness, concern...and this feeling of are those adults OK?
Now.
Keep in mind that these carers were doing nothing wrong at all. They had obviously just come out of the restaurant and were waiting for transport.
I think I just caught a glimpse of how much trust is involved in leaving your child/adult with a carer.
I mean, what if those adults actually wanted to go see the ducks. What if they wanted to do something other than be at a restaurant?

Ryley is non-verbal.
Completely non-verbal.
He can't really say what he wants to do for the day.
This is what gets me the most.
For those people with a disability who can't express what they want...what if their carers are actually doing the complete opposite of what they are wanting?
Maybe they want vegemite instead of jam on their toast.
Imagine a world where you are trying desperately to say what you want, thinking that your sounds are doing just that, only to find that your carers, the people who love you, are doing the exact opposite.
Holy crap.
That sux.

Now, as a parent, who knows all that, how hard is it to leave your child or adult with someone else?
Pretty damn hard hey.
All too often I hear horrifying stories of people with disabilities being abused. It makes me physically sick.
With all that in mind, how do you trust others?
I have to trust Ryley's teachers at school. I have to trust that they won't harm him.
I have to trust family and friends.

But can I truly trust anyone other than David and I?

I shall ponder that on my next run.

Or if anyone has the answer...let me know please!

4 comments:

  1. It's something we also worry about already. We saw a group of adults with disabilities the other day at a store and overheard the two carers talking about 'losing' one of the adults. I stopped about to ask what was going on when one of them spotted the adult walking toward them. He apparently went to look for a bathroom, but hadn't told them. The whole thing was so upsetting!!

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  2. I already am worried about that same thing. I tell Mark that I am terrified about dying-- who will care for Kaylee? I don't trust anyone to love her, watch our for her and treat her with the gentle arms that I do. I trust her caregivers at the daycare because she is a baby, and an easy one at that. What happens as she grows and isn't as 'cute' in their eyes? I think it is a fear we all share...and one that we don't verbalize enough.

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  3. Wow, yes I do worry about this. A lot. My non-verbal step-daughter is 12 and gorgeous. :( Trust is so hard.

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  4. Oh, that thought gave me anxiety just now. I know what you mean. While Samantha is verbal, many of her little friends are not. And when she was born, we didn't know what to expect, and the fears about who, besides us, would take care of her, were overwhelming. We still worry about care-takers, as she is still just a child and not as verbal as typical children. It's scary, but keep in mind, there are definitely GOOD people out there. I think we're conditioned to expect the worst, given the media. :-)

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