Tears, for who exactly?

I keep opening up my blog and staring at the blinking white screen.
For some reason, I just haven't been able to put the words into a proper blog post.
So many garbled words keep jumping out on the page, as I stumble over the constant thoughts.

I want to write about issues, things that are bothering me, the kids, the stuff that no one else likes to write...but for some reason the posts that are half-written in my head seem to stay there.

*Shrugs shoulders*

Today, my baby started school.
Yes.
My baby started school.
Although, he isn't exactly my baby any more, and really, I should be referring to him as my youngest.
But there was a twinge of my heart today as he cried and clung to me.
I couldn't bear it really.
So, for his sake, I walked away and left him to cling to his father.
My tears flowed, and I could feel the other parents glancing at me, some with sympathy, some barely containing their own tears, some with amusement.
I didn't care.

Braeden was so excited about school, but once he got there and it dawned on him that he was going to be left in a new environment, with routines he didn't know and a whole lot of 'noise', he started to worry.
I validated his concerns:
"Yes, it is noisy isn't it?"
"Yes, I know you are hungry and don't know when you are allowed to eat"
"Yes, it is a new and different place to be isn't it?"
But it just wasn't quite enough.
It is definitely ok to cry. It is definitely ok to feel overwhelmed on your first day. And it is definitely ok to express that by letting the tears roll down your face.
He was fine, by the way.

Me?
Well I survived too.