Where is the handbook that discusses how to help your nearly teenage son deal with his changing body?
Yeah Yeah.
I can hear people yelling out the names of them to me.
Well, thanks, they will be useful in another 4 or so years when my typically developing child is going through puberty.
Right now though, I am faced with kind of a big challenge.
You see, my son is nearly 13 and starting to change.
Probably a little bit later than what the typical kids do these days. But still within the 'normal' range.
I have noticed physical changes (bit confronting the first few times), but I have also noticed the HUGE changes in his emotions.
Gone is my gentle, sweet charming little boy.
Replacing him is a young man who is confused, angry and sad.

I guess seeing as you are reading this blog, you probably realise that the son I am talking about is my one who has a disability.
If you are new here, he has Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome, or as it is sometimes known, 4p- Syndrome.
This means he has all sorts of other challenges, and so do we.

Where are those damn handbooks that tell you what to expect, and more importantly, how to help your child with a disability through puberty? This is new territory for me, and I am already pretty much exhausted.

My son switches between hating me with a passion and fury I have never seen and needing me while he sobs uncontrollably over what seems like nothing. More times than not, he physically tries to hurt me.
I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.

All I can do is try to be patient, set firm boundaries and be there for him. He can't yell at me, so I guess he uses his body to try and hurt me. I often see in his eyes, the pleading. He wants me to help him understand why he feels the way he does, yet I cannot.

So, I have decided to write again. I can't promise I will be writing in here frequently. But I feel like it is important to record this year somehow. Like maybe it will help someone else sometime. Or maybe, it will just be therapeautic for me. I constantly feel the need to write and often compose blog posts in my head, yet when it comes to sitting down and writing, my page stays blank.

Let's see how I go. Welcome to 2015.


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