Monday, November 30, 2009

I survived..

My christmas shopping experience wasn't as awful as I was expecting. Perhaps because I ran into people that I knew, so it was nice to talk to them. I managed to buy quite a few presents, though didn't quite get it all done.
Our christmas party celebrations start this weekend and I must admit I am very much looking forward to getting our tree up tomorrow and decorating the house. I pulled the box of christmas stuff out of the cupboard and Braeden got straight in and pulled out lights and tinsel.
Our party fun kicks off this weekend with two parties, the SMB Children's Centre party (Braeden's daycare centre) and then our traditional one with the Wheelers and Kricaks. I think the kids will be well and truly worn out!!

We are going to make some decorations this year, so stay tuned for some pictures of our creations!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

What's on for YOUR weekend?

What are you doing this weekend?
I plan to be up and out the door, at the shops by, say, 9:01am.
I know I will be up early. That is a given.
The boys have an appointment for a haircut at 9:00am. David takes them for that.
This will be Braeden's first proper haircut.

I have one day to do ALL of my christmas shopping.
Yes, you heard me. ONE day. So by 9:11am, I will probably be over it.
Crowds annoy me. People at christmas shopping time annoy me. It's like everyone suddenly becomes even ruder than ever. They become impatient, they are angry, and they will knock you over a hundred times to get to the last 'must have' item.
I hate it.

I lose my patience very quickly. I snarl at people who look like they are going to annoy me. I pre-empt my snarl by a sarcastic smile, or I look 'em straight in the eye and dare them to stand in my way. I hate how people stand in the way, chatting to each other as if oblivious to the rest of the mad sea of people who are rushing to get their shopping done. Even a firm 'EXCUSE ME' is ignored.
Oh silly me, politeness is not welcome in the days of christmas shopping. No No. Ho Ho.

I will need an IV drip I think.
Given that I now view the world through a foggy haze (is that just the weather, or is it my eyes that are clouding over?), I am certain that I will be unable to tolerate a single person unless I am hooked up to that bittersweet black stuff that clears the fog for a while.

So that's my Saturday.
Wish me luck?
Or let me use a stink bomb, so I can do my shopping in peace (allbeit stinky peace).

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

THAT noise

For those that know Ryley and have been reading my blog, you will know that I have mentioned in a few posts lately about THAT noise that Ryley does.
It is this whiney, grizzly, highpitched noise that he does when he is bored, annoyed or just trying to say "Muuuuuummmmmmm why are there no cars for me to watch?" (to which I normally reply: "because Mum can't control how many cars come down the street Ryley, if I could, I would").
Today, I had enough.
He started the noise from the minute the bus left. I sat him at the front door so he could watch the cars and people in the street. He did the noise because there wasn't enough cars.
I put one of the music channels on so him and his brother could dance. He did the noise.
I gave him a drink and put Playschool on. He did the noise.

Meanwhile, I was trying to express breastmilk for Braeden to take to childcare tomorrow, and Braeden was climbing up on me trying to feed at the same time.

I shouted STOP.
I said that FIRST Mum finished her jobs. THEN we will go outside.
Braeden took notice and climbed down.
Ryley stopped the noise for all second.

I took them outside. Ryley was so excited! He raced straight down to the trampoline and got on.
He realised I was taking washing off the line so he started the noise.
Braeden tried to get up on the trampoline to play.
Ryley tried to block him.
Braeden gave up and went play on the swings.
Ryley kept the noise up for 15 minutes while I finished the jobs I had to do.

I made a decision.
No more reacting to THAT NOISE.
So I told him that I was not listening the noise anymore. I carefully explained that he was a big boy now and that he had to find another way to express himself. I told him that I knew he was tired and grumpy, and that we all were. I told him he could do what he wanted to do, but tonight, Mum was busy.


Of course then he nicked off around to the front of the house when I wasn't looking....

Monday, November 23, 2009

Shearing time!

This weekend marked the beginning of two weeks of shearing out at David's parents house. We haven't been for the last couple of years because we have either been busy or just haven't been needed.
The boys had an absolute ball!
Ryley was very content and happy sitting watching the sheep get shorn, he loved the noise and busy-ness of everything.
Braeden was trying so hard to help out. He will be a good rousie next year I reckon. He watched the shearing so carefully too. I bet he will love to have a go one day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Not fair

Poor Ryley.
He was so sad tonight. He wanted to help me fill up a pot of water, and as he was climbing up on the chair he slipped and he fell down. I missed catching him because I was completely distracted by Braeden who was sitting on the toilet and tearing toilet paper up. Ryley was just completely devastated by the fact that he fell. He sobbed his little heart out.
So did I.
Sobbed with him.
I asked if he was frustrated that his body didn't work for him and he looked deep in my eyes and I knew the answer.
I know he watches Braeden do all these amazing things. He tries desperately to get his body to do the same things. He gets so angry with me for not helping him and for not always understanding what he wants.

Why can't I make things ok?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Just 'cos

Grumpy Ryley.

Braeden thinks spilling his water is a crack up.

Day off

Today Ballarat declared it was a public holiday for the Ballarat Cup. So our household has had a day off. Now, I was really looking forward to this because I thought it would be fun for us to just hang out and relax together. I started the day by making pancakes for brekky and it all went downhill from there...

Ryley was bored.
Braeden spent most of the time in the strawberry patch picking all the unripe strawberries.
Ryley did his 'silly' noise for basically the whole day, which meant I had to walk away from him several times before I lost it with him. Even David who is the most patient person in the world got cross with him for his 'silly' noise.
Braeden pulled his chair EVERYWHERE so he could get into things he shouldn' knives for example.


Thank God it is back to school/daycare/work tomorrow. It sure is going to be a loooooong summer judging by todays grizzly grump behaviour.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Getting very sleepy...

Sleep is something that isn't done to well in this household.
Ryley has to have medication to help him sleep, and even with that, he wakes at least 3-4 times a night for a drink and a resettle.
Braeden...well he has NEVER slept through the night, and his latest trick is to wake through the night screaming and refuse a BF, drink of water and even cuddles.
Add to that the fact that both the kids think that first light means it's time to get up (5:20am in the morning), and it makes for a very grumpy, sleep deprived Mumma.

Sometimes I wonder if people understand the exhaustion I feel every day. I manage it with a cup or two of strong coffee, but I know it is starting to affect me and I wonder how long it will take for others to notice. Most people wouldn't realise that I am still BFing Braeden at least every 2 hours through the night. It takes me and hour and half to get him to sleep most nights and then he is up again 2 hours later!

So why do I do it? Why not just let him cry himself back to sleep?
Well, a number of reasons. Firstly, I will state outright that my style of parenting is not like most peoples. I am what is known as an 'Attachment Parent'. I believe that in order for a child to grow up emotionally stable, they need to be responded to, so, for me, this includes co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, actually sitting down and playing, teaching the kids how to behave, and letting them express themselves, but with plenty of boundaries! This belief is backed up by plenty of empirical evidence. We know that between the ages of 0-2 years, a baby must be responded to when it cries, or else it quickly figures out how to 'give up' and learn that it's needs won't be met. It enters a survival mode, and yes, will be quiet, but also learns not to trust the world. Often these are the babies that are called 'good' babies, because they are quiet and tend not to scream for their parents attention for long (because they realise they won't get it).
Unfortunately, these babies will go on to be toddlers who can't cope, have great difficulties in social behaviour and cannot regulate their emotions. They then go on to be children who are clingy, anxious or have difficult behaviour...etc etc.
So I guess that is partly why I still get up through the night to BF, or David gets up to Ryley. In Ryley's case it is a little different. He has seizures through the night and he often needs a drink. Sometimes he has a bad dream. I couldn't for the life of me imagine not responding to his cries, no matter how hard it is sometimes.

I do want to stress that this style of parenting is not for everyone. Based on the current research it is by far one of the best for the children, but there are definite variations which would work just as well for other people. Most people that I know would parent in a similar style. Every child is different though, and I am always envious of people whose children sleep through the night without any troubles at all!!
I really just wanted to explain why I haven't weaned Braeden, or why I don't just be 'tough' and let him cry himself back to sleep. I just can't do it.

Although, there are times, when I am up for the umpteenth time BF, when I am bawling my eyes out from the pure exhaustion and I wish I had kids who would sleep through the night...

It will come. Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone. Like all milestones, some reach it quicker than others. For those BF babies and toddlers, it does just take that wee bit longer. I am assured by one of my best friends that it does come...she has been exactly where I am at, but now has a 3 year old who sleeps through the only another year of no sleep hey? Better invest in a coffee shop then!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Elliott

I have this 'thing' about birthday parties. I have never been very good at going to them. I find I always have to 'explain' Ryley and why he is so small.
Today was different though.
Admittedly, I was a little nervous. I mean, I knew the beautiful birthday boy and his equally special Mum (you can meet them here), but I didn't know anyone else that was going to be there. I guess I was a little bit anxious about having to explain Ryley.
What I should have known, was that anyone who already loves someone with WHS isn't going to look twice at Ryley and expect an explanation.
We met such a lovely bunch of people! So friendly, and such gorgeous kids. We had a lovely relaxing time and for the first time ever, I didn't feel like I had to explain Ryley. I didn't have to pretend to ignore the curious looks as we did a PEG feed or as we helped him do something.
I should have known.

So thanks Liv and Elliott for a great afternoon with great food and great company!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

An award...for me?

I am very much humbled by this. I think that it is a wonderful idea, and look forward to passing on the blog love. I am very inspired by the blogs that I read and I think it is wonderful to know that the words that I write help make a difference for someone, somewhere along the line.

So, Melissa, thankyou.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Spring (with unusually warm weather) is...

Wearing a hat (although Ryley is still working on keeping it on longer):

Sometimes wearing a winter hat over your head is better though:

Playing in water is lot's of fun:

And pretending to do the dishes is EVEN more fun:

We are very lucky at the moment to have such warm weather. It isn't too hot, although after a while we need to be in the shade and reapply that sunscreen. Braeden loves wearing a hat and usually puts one on as soon as he wakes up. Ryley, on the other hand, keeps his on briefly then throws it off when we aren't looking. He does have nice olive skin so I usually just pile on lots of sunscreen and keep him in the shade as much as possible. One day I am certain he will just decide he wants to wear a hat...well I can hope anyway!!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Stealing an idea

Ok, so I have decided to do something I wouldn't usually do, and just for fun answer one of these questionnaire things. I stole it from Melissa, who I think stole it from other blogs. Apparently you are meant to answer with one word. Not sure I can do that, but I will give it a red hot go..

1.Where is your mobile phone? Out on the kitchen bench

2.Your hair? In a stupid boring same-as-always pony tail then kind of looped back over. I desperately need to go see my hairdresser. In fact, she was asking David the other day when he got his hair cut, when I was coming in because "her roots must be soooo bad by now". Um. Yeah. They are.

3.Your mother? Busy. Recovering from breast cancer.

4.Your father? At work. Or overseas. Somewhere doing his philosophical best to change the world.

5.Your favorite food? Mum's tomato pork casserole thingy. Chicken Parma.

6.Your dream last night? That my sister was getting a divorce. That I was buying a house-AGAIN. I dream nearly every night about a house. Some of them are the same house, sometimes they are different ones.

7.Your favorite drink? Alcoholic-Jim Beam, not that I drink at the moment because I am still breastfeeding. So non-alcoholic-coffee

8.Your dream/goal? To bring about social change and educate and support people who have a child with a disability.

9.What room are you in? Study/Spare/Junk room

10.Your hobby? Probably blogging. Other than that, renovating and gardening.

11.Your fear? Losing David, Ryley or Braeden. I know that Ryley has a shortened lifespan, but I have no idea how I will ever continue to breath without him (or David or Braeden for that matter).

12.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Halfway through my Masters degree and hopefully getting some work published. Plus I want to have started building out beach house project (we are going to buy a house by the sea and renovate it and make it fully accessible for families who have a child/adult with a disability. The plan it to make it avaliable at a very very low cost so that families who might not be able to go on holidays because it is too hard can. So anything you can think of-hoist, high fences, bathing/showering, sensory room, spa, and theatre room will all be there. It is so that families can get away together and have fun and relax without taking half the house with them!)

13.Where were you last night? Home where else?

14.Something that you aren’t? Patient enough

15.Muffins? Banana and choc-chip.

16.Wish list item? Outdoor spa

17.Where did you grow up? East Warburton VIC, Melbourne VIC

18.Last thing you did? Gave the boys their water bottles and ushered them to the car. David was taking them to Bunnings.

19.What are you wearing? Work clothes

20.Your TV? Big HD widescreen thing. Ryley can finally see it and enjoy his racing cars and Playschool (with some Wiggles in there occasionally).

21.Your pets? 2 dogs, Charley who is a staffy cross and Stanley who is a Labrador cross. Also a cat Mollie who is a bitch.

22.Friends? I have the most wonderful supportive friends ever.

23.Your life? Busy.

24.Your mood? Pretty good for once.

25.Missing someone? Always

26.Vehicle? Which one? I drive a commodore wagon. I also have my pride and joy Falcon XE. It doesn't go. Plus David is driving his brothers camry, he has a WB Holden ute which is not on the road, plus he has two commodores which are basically paddock bombs. So we have 5 cars all up. And only one is decent. Hmmmm.

27.Something you’re not wearing? A proper bra! I am still in a maternity one because I am BFing still. It has been years...I wouldn't mind being able to buy some nice lingerie again...!!

28.Your favourite store? Wilson's fruit and vegies. I love being surrounded by all that fresh produce. Not to mention the yummy deli stuff.

29.Your favorite colour? Pink. Black. Blue.

29.When was the last time you laughed? When I was outside playing with the boys on the trampoline.

30.Last time you cried? Today, when I was reading the beautiful words of another blog.

31.Your best friend? David. I am lucky enough to have a few best friends. They know who they are. They are beautiful, inspiring and strong women.

32.One place that you go to over and over? Work.

33.One person who emails me regularly? Mum, with new pics of my neice usually.

34.Favourite place to eat? Home. Now that the Amphi Pub isn't open anymore.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

More Movember

If anyone wants to follow David, here is the link: David at Movember

Men's depression is something that is rarely talked about, but there is an ever increasing incidence of men who are being treated for some kind of depressive illness. You can donate online and read more about the cause. It is great to see that there is something being done to raise the profile of men's health and the importance of talking about health issues!

Monday, November 2, 2009

More pics

Here are a couple of pictures of the boys taken yesterday. Ryley is pulling his 'funny face' and Braeden is making sure his mate Keto Meerkat is in the picture!
We have finally had some heat here in our part of Australia so it has been quite a shock to the system!
Braeden actually has a pair of jocks on over his nappy (which you can't see) because he has decided he wants to start going to the toilet. I think we are a loooong way off him being toilet trained, but hey if he thinks he is ready himself, then he must be getting close to it...??!! Ryley seems very keen to give the toileting thing a try too, so we are going to attempt to train him too. We figure that if he sees his brother doing it, he might be more inclined to try himself.
Ryley has had some pretty nasty seizures this weekend and spent a fair amount of time feeling crap. He seemed very happy this morning though as he went off to school, despite having been up since 5:30am.
I hope the warm weather sticks around. It is really nice being able to do things outside at night when the kids are in bed. It is so relaxing!

Sunday, November 1, 2009


Stay tuned! David is participating in Movember this year. He is going to try and rope some mates in, but even if he can't, he is still going to do it.
He has had facial hair for about 6 years so it is going to be very unusual seeing him all clean shaven to start off with. Then he will grow a funky cool 'mo.
Hope the kids recognise him..!!

Edited to add: Movember is a month dedicated to raising funds for research into Prostate Cancer. The idea is that blokes grow a cool moustache and see if they can people to throw a few dollars their way to support them!


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